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The following is the Will the junior be happy? Are “hard to catch up” people more attractive? How to say psychological research recommended by And this article belongs to the classification: Life data.

Will those who succeed in digging the wall be happy?  

Mate poaching refers to the fact that a person still chooses to pursue another person when he knows that the other person has a partner. Many people who choose to dig other people’s walls think that “it’s my ability to dig” and “it’s true love that we can be dug by me”.

However, a study published in the Journal of sex research found that people who have experienced more relationships have lower quality of intimacy and are more likely to cheat in existing relationships.

In this study, 653 American adults who are in intimate relationship submitted valid questionnaires online. Among them, 88 subjects truthfully explained that they are the people who actively dig the bottom of the wall, 116 subjects reported that they are the people who are dug, and 60 subjects said that they would dig with each other; the rest of the subjects are the “honest people” in the relationship and have not experienced the relationship of digging the bottom of the wall.

The researchers also asked the participants about their current relationship status, whether they had been unfaithful in the current relationship, their views on extrarelational sexual behavior, and their satisfaction, trust and jealousy in the current relationship.

The results showed that those who had experienced two or more relationships had the highest level of jealousy. The more times you dig in the past relationship, the lower your satisfaction in the current relationship. The researchers explained that the poor quality of intimacy among wall diggers is partly due to their stronger tendency and more open attitude towards sex without commitment.

The relationship between physical infidelity and mental infidelity and gender, duration of relationship, education level and history of digging the wall. Screenshot from belu, C. F., & O’Sullivan, L. F. (2020). Once a poacher always a poacher? Mate poaching history and its association with relationship quality. The Journal of sex research, 57 (4), 508-521

Interestingly, the researchers also found that: compared with those who have not had the experience of digging the wall, those who have had the experience of digging the wall once are about 3.5 times more likely to cheat physically and 4.5 times more likely to cheat mentally in the current relationship; while those who have had the experience of digging the Wall twice or more are about twice as likely to cheat mentally.

So, don’t be naive to think that digging the wall will bring real happiness. After all, today TA may be dug up by you, and tomorrow TA will also be dug up by others; today TA digs you, and tomorrow TA can dig other people

Does being hard to follow make you more attractive? Yes to a certain extent, but it’s hard to say for a long time

How to attract more people before a relationship starts? Some people may think that it’s unnecessary to play hard to get, but others think that a little bit of “pick” when choosing a mate will better show their value and charm. Which is more scientific?

The latest research published in the Journal of social and personal relations shows that when a person looks hard to catch up with, the suitor will give him higher courtship value, so as to have a stronger sexual desire for him; in order to meet the hard to catch up with person again, the other party is willing to make greater efforts.

The researchers conducted three groups of experiments. In the experiment, the researchers told the subjects that TA would chat with another subject. But in fact, the chatting objects were all pre arranged “actors” — half of the subjects were arranged to interact with a person who was picky in the courtship process (the “hard to chase” setting); the other half were arranged to chat with a person who was not picky (the “easy to chase” setting). After that, the participants were asked to evaluate the other person’s difficulty, courtship value, and sexual attractiveness.

No matter in the online interaction (Experiment 1) or face-to-face communication (Experiment 2), the results showed that the higher the degree of difficulty perceived by the subjects, the higher the evaluation of the other party’s courtship value, and the more sexual desire they had for the other party.

In the first group of online chat experiments, the relevant data obtained from the two kinds of files, which are hard to catch up with and easy to catch up with, are screenshots from Birnbaum, G. E., zholtack, K., & Reis, H. T. (2020). No pain, no gain: perfect partner mate value mediates the desire inducing effect of being hard to get during online and face-to-face accounts, 37(8-9), 2510-2528.

In the third group of experiments, the researchers adopted a more natural online chat situation, and additionally tested whether the subjects tried to have the next interaction with each other at the end of the conversation. The results were consistent with the previous two groups: the more difficult the pursuer was, the more attractive the pursuer was, and the more willing the pursuer was to pursue.

To be sure, this conclusion seems politically incorrect, but it may be good news for those who are always accused of “you are too selective to be single”. After all, studies have said that you look very “choosy”, but in fact you are charming!

However, we also want to remind you that in the long run, the quality of intimacy depends on the true selves of both partners and their sincere interest in each other. I don’t encourage you to pursue strategy~

Want to make it up faster after a fight? You need to use this position

When you quarrel with your partner, are you still reasoning with him with your hands akimbo and big eyes staring at him? Recently, a study published in the Journal of sex & Maritime therapy found that if you want to make up faster, you can try to hold hands with your partner when you have a fight!

The research team led by H. J. conradi et al. Invited 47 heterosexual couples who had been in love for more than one year as the subjects, and divided them into two groups: “fight hand in hand” and “fight hand in hand”. In the experiment, the couple will discuss the topic of great difference between the two sides. During the discussion, the research team will monitor their heart rate in real time, as well as the number of effective and ineffective communication when they quarrel.

The results showed that the heart rate of both men and women in the hand holding group decreased, the proportion of effective communication increased, and the positive emotion increased.

The top picture shows the heart rate of couples who fight hand in hand and not hand in hand; the next two pictures show the proportion of effective and ineffective communication between men and women who fight hand in hand and not hand in hand. Screenshots from conradi, H. J., Noordhof, A., & arntz, A. (2020). Improvement of conflict handling: hand holding during and after conflict discussions affect heart rate, mood, and observed communication behavior in romantic partners. Journal of sex & Maritime therapy, 46 (5), 419-434

Why is that?

Scholars explain that physical contact can promote the body to secrete more oxytocin and inhibit the sharp rise of cortisol under stress. On the one hand, these hormonal changes can alleviate all kinds of physiological reactions when we quarrel, including lowering blood pressure and slowing down heart rate. On the other hand, they can make us feel more positive emotions.

Secondly, previous studies have pointed out that when oxytocin levels rise, people will be more able to establish effective communication and improve their trust in each other. With trust, it is easier for couples to establish a cooperative relationship rather than an antagonistic relationship in communication, thus making it easier to make up after a quarrel.

Well, what if you are embarrassed to hold hands when you quarrel? Hand in hand is also very effective after a fight!

The study also found that when couples hold hands after a fight, their heart rates will also decrease, making their bodies gradually calm down, and their positive emotions will also be effectively improved.

Heart rate comparison of hand in hand and not hand in hand after quarrel between lovers. Screenshots from conradi, H. J., Noordhof, A., & arntz, A. (2020). Improvement of conflict handling: hand holding during and after conflict discussions affect heart rate, mood, and observed communication behavior in romantic partners. Journal of sex & Maritime therapy, 46 (5), 419-434

In addition, there are many cases in which the abductees of the aborigines are held, and the following things are considered to be “a large sum of eight.”

A new study finds that “women in charge” may make marriage more unhappy

After a couple begin to live together or get married, one of the biggest problems may be the distribution of housework: if they do more housework, they will worry about each other becoming lazy; if they do less, they may be unhappy.

This year, a paper published in the journal “Society: Social Research for a dynamic world” explored the relationship between relationship satisfaction and household distribution. By analyzing the data from the 2006 maritime and relationship survey, the researchers collected information about 487 cohabitant heterosexual couples in the United States, and used the scale to sort out the self-reports of men and women in the following aspects: marital relationship satisfaction, daily housework distribution, sense of fairness in housework distribution, and communication quality between partners. The variables controlled by the researchers included age, education level, religious belief, paid working hours, self-rated health status and gender awareness of equality.

截图自Carlson, D. L., Miller, A. J., & Rudd, S. (2020). Division of housework, communication, and couples’ relationship satisfaction. Socius: Sociological Research for a Dynamic World, 6, 1-17.

The results show that women’s way of communication determines how to distribute housework. When women communicate negatively, men do more, but they are less satisfied with the relationship.

However, men’s communication style does not affect how the two sides distribute housework, but is affected by the result of housework distribution. When men undertake housework equally, they can communicate better with their partners, while when women mainly undertake housework, men do worse.

At the same time, for women, equal division of labor in the family is very important to their relationship satisfaction; for men, relationship satisfaction depends on how the woman communicates with him and has nothing to do with what housework she does.

That is to say, when it comes to the distribution of housework, the woman speaks well and the man takes the initiative to do it. Both sides are satisfied; the woman takes care of the housework, but the man not only does little, but also can’t learn to speak well

Now you know how to divide the housework~

“Salted fish makes people happy” has scientific basis!

Are you still anxious while salting fish? A study published in the Journal of personality and social psychology by the University of Zurich in Switzerland found that just as pursuing long-term goals and maintaining self-discipline can make people get long-term happiness.

In this study, Katharina bernecker et al. Developed a questionnaire to measure the ability of the subjects to enjoy instant pleasure (that is, the ability to focus on their immediate needs, invest and enjoy short-term pleasure). Through the questionnaire survey, researchers want to explore whether different people have different ability to enjoy in time, and whether such ability is related to people’s happiness level.

The results show that when some people choose to enjoy themselves in time, they will be harassed by the idea of long-term goals. For example, when they lie on the sofa, they suddenly think that they haven’t done exercise today. In contrast, those who can be completely immersed in the happiness of salted fish can get more happiness and suffer less anxiety and depression.

So, the worst thing is not just playing without effort, but playing without sureness

More responsible to eat? Are yawning people friendlier?

These little habits can reveal your personality!  

If you want to judge the other person’s personality from getting along with them, what would you pay attention to? The common way to judge may be through social relations, circle of friends, or chat content. However, a recent study published in the European Journal of personality found that many unexpected behaviors are actually related to our personality traits.  

462 subjects were recruited to record their daily life with portable recording equipment for 2-6 days. After that, the researchers analyzed the behavior and language habits of the subjects through the recorded information.

The study analyzed the correlation between five personality traits and daily behavior and language. Screenshot from tackman, a. m., baranski, e. n., Danvers, A. F., sbarra, D. A., raison, C. L., Moseley, S. A., Mehl, M. R. (2020). “Personality in its natural habitat” Revised: a pooled, multi ‐ sample examination of the relationships between the big five personality traits and daily behavior and language use. European Journal of personality

The results show that people’s language habits are likely to reveal their personality. For example, friendly people prefer to use “we” instead of “I”; responsible people tend to have more pauses before speaking. The researchers believe that these associations may be because friendly people are more concerned about interpersonal relationships, while responsible people are more cautious before they act and speak.

However, there are also some connections that can’t be understood at first sight. For example, extroverts are less likely to cough and sneeze, friendly people often yawn, and responsible people prefer to eat

Although this study does not show that there is any causal relationship between personality and specific behavior habits, it also confirms from the side that the influence of personality on personality traits may be much wider than we know.

Research: how can couples have more sex? A secret consciously kept by society: about 20% of married people are in asexual marriage. Why do women live longer than men? Can AI predict the outcome of marriage? PNAs: people who love to have friends are more likely to live long. Social media becomes a new marriage killer. University of Michigan: research finds that women have more sleep and more sexual desire. Cbndata: why do we love wonder woman more? Research on the cost of 60 square meters of housing in cities around the world shows that the temptation of the opposite sex makes men more violent, and close relatives are not as good as distant neighbors: the most important networking is unfamiliar friends. Is psychological research fooling the public? International Journal of cancer: research finds that eating cruciferous vegetables reduces the risk of breast cancer by 11% Harvard Business Review: why should we disagree more frequently at work?

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